One caregiver for a baby, or many?
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Mom holds the baby Monday, Grandma rocks the baby Tuesday, Dad takes over on the weekend. Will the baby get confused? Plenty of families have argued about this: some say one person is best, others say the more the better. So who's right? Start with the first idea: a baby's heart only has room for one person.
In 1964, two psychologists in Scotland followed sixty babies, from their first months to a year and a half. What they watched for: when a grown-up left, who did the baby cry for? By a year and a half, nearly nine in ten babies cried for more than one person. A third had five or more people on their list.
Mom, Dad, Grandma, a big brother — all of them can make the list. A baby's heart is built to hold several people. So the first idea doesn't hold up. What about the second? The more the better? In the forests of Congo, in Africa, live a people called the Efe. From the day they're born, their babies are passed around by many hands.
Researchers found that about half of a baby's cuddling and play came from people other than Mom. Yet by age one, these babies still had one person they were closest to. All those people didn't confuse them. So the more the better? Not so fast — there's another place with lots of grown-ups too.
In Romanian orphanages, the caregivers worked in rotating shifts. One today, another tomorrow, each looking after a dozen or more children. In 2001, scientists went to study those children. Many had no one they were especially close to, and would reach out to be held by total strangers. Later, some of the children went to foster families, with the same grown-ups every day. Their bonds with those adults clearly improved.
Both places had lots of people, so what's the difference? In the forest, the baby is held by the same few familiar faces. In the orphanage, the faces keep changing, and crying doesn't always bring anyone. So the answer isn't one person, and it isn't the more the better. It's a few steady people — when the baby cries, someone catches it.
Another study found that kids close to two grown-ups talk a little better than kids close to just one. The difference is small, and the research is still going. Back home: Mom, Grandma and Dad taking turns is fine. What matters is not swapping people all the time. And that everyone can catch the baby's tears and smiles. A baby's heart is roomy enough for several people, as long as those people stay. When your baby cries, who do they look for first?
The family debate
Mom, Grandma and Dad take turns. Lots of families do this. But does it confuse the baby? Families usually split two ways:
Each is only half right. Let’s look.
Sixty babies, and who they cried for
In 1964, two psychologists in Scotland followed 60 babies from a few months old to a year and a half. They watched one thing: when a grown-up left, who did the baby cry for?
Nearly 9 in 10 babies
cried for more than one person
Gold: more than one person (about 87%). Red ring: five or more (about 31%). Mom, Dad, Grandma, a big brother — all made the list.
In the forest,
many hands take turns
In the forests of Congo, in Africa, Efe babies are passed around by many people from the day they’re born. About half of the holding and playing in a day comes from someone other than Mom.
Yet by age one, these babies still have one person they love most. All those people didn’t confuse them.
It was likely like this tens of thousands of years ago too — see how Stone Age babies were raised.
In the orphanage,
many people too.
It didn’t work.
From 2001, scientists studied children in Romanian orphanages. The caregivers worked in shifts — one today, another tomorrow — each looking after a dozen or more children.
Many had no one special, and would reach out to be held by total strangers. Later, some children went to foster families with the same grown-ups every day — and their bonds clearly improved.
Lots of people in both.
So what’s different?
Not one person.
Not “the more the better.”
A few steady people —
when the baby cries, someone catches it.
Another study found kids close to two grown-ups talk a little better than kids close to just one. The difference is small, and the research is still going. Babies learn to talk through back-and-forth — see how babies learn to talk.
Just don’t keep
changing people,
and catch every cry.
Quick check
What does a baby need most from the people caring for them?
The forest and the orphanage both had lots of people; the difference was familiar faces and someone catching each cry.
