Why are some babies easy, and others impossible to soothe?

The full narration of the video.

How easy a baby is to calm differs a lot, right from birth. Same rocking, same lullaby. The baby on the left is asleep in two minutes. The one on the right cries louder the more you try. Parents on the right often wonder: what am I doing wrong?

Most likely, nothing. Researchers who followed over a hundred children found that out of ten babies, about four are easy from the start, and about one is difficult from the start. An easy baby is like a dandelion. It grows anywhere, by the road or in a crack in the wall. A difficult baby is like an orchid. A little too much sun or water, and its leaves curl up.

An orchid baby has a low threshold. A brighter light, a slightly wet diaper, a scratchy shirt, and it's already too much. His reactions are bigger, too. Where another baby whimpers, he goes straight to full-volume crying. And the hardest part is that once he starts crying, it takes him a long time to settle down on his own.

These inborn differences have a name: temperament. Baby temperament questionnaires even have a section that asks: how quickly does he calm down when you soothe him? Twin studies show that temperament comes partly from genes, not from anything anyone taught him. Age matters too. In the first six weeks, babies cry about two hours a day on average.

Some cry half an hour; some, more than five hours. These weeks often bring crying spells nothing can stop. Holding and comforting cuts the total crying, but those spells often won't budge. That's not your soothing failing; the brakes a baby uses to manage feelings just aren't built yet.

Around three to four months, a baby's brain changes a lot. For many babies, those crying spells slowly fade. An orchid baby doesn't need more tricks; he needs care that fits him. For example, a darker, quieter room, and slower movements. The bigger surprise comes later. One study followed a large group of children from infancy into the last years of primary school.

Children who were difficult babies had more problems when their care was poor. But with good care, they had fewer problems than the easy babies, and got along better with others. Orchids are hard to grow, but grown well, they bloom brighter than anything. If your baby has a fever, won't feed, or cries very differently from usual, see a doctor first.

So is your little one more of an orchid, or a dandelion?