He was lost at sea for years. Why did his wife still wait?
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A hundred and eight men came to ask for her hand, and she turned down every one. Her name was Penelope. Her husband was Odysseus, the hero of the ancient Greek poem, The Odyssey. He spent ten years fighting at Troy, then ten more drifting at sea: twenty years away from home.
China has a waiting story too: in an old opera, Wang Baochuan waits eighteen years in a cave for her husband. But Penelope's house was anything but quiet. A hundred and eight suitors moved in. Every day they ate her sheep, drank her wine, and pressed her to remarry.
Twenty years without a word. Why keep waiting? Let's rule out two guesses. Guess one: she had no choice. Wrong. Before he left, her husband said: once our son grows a beard, marry again. By now the son had his beard. Marrying anyone would not be wrong.
Guess two: she was just stubborn, waiting blindly. Wrong again. She kept making moves. She said: let me finish weaving a burial cloth for my father-in-law, then I'll choose. By day she wove. By torchlight she unpicked it. One cloth took over three years, until a maid gave her away.
So what was she waiting for? The answer is hidden in a bed. In the twentieth year, Odysseus really came home. Disguised as an old beggar, he and his son defeated the suitors. But Penelope did not run to him. She feared an impostor.
She told a maid: carry our bed out of the bedroom for him. Her husband burst out: that bed can't be moved! Its post is the trunk of a living olive tree, still rooted in the ground. Only the two of them and one maid knew that. Only then did she hold him and weep.
What two people share is like that rooted tree. Furniture can be carried off and replaced by anyone. A tree in the ground stays put. A hundred and eight men could offer gold and a throne. Not that tree.
It was the same for Odysseus. The goddess Calypso kept him seven years and offered to make him never age. He answered: I know my wife is not as beautiful as you. But all I want is to go home. Homer never tells us what Penelope felt. We can only watch what she did.
She wasn't waiting for just any husband. She was waiting for the one who plays the same game, and knows about the tree. Between you and your partner, is there one small thing only the two of you know?
In one line
She wasn't waiting blindly. She was waiting for someone as clever as she was, who also knew about the tree.
20 years, not a word
The ancient Greek poem The Odyssey is about Odysseus. His wife is Penelope.
China has a waiting story too: in Peking opera, Wang Baochuan waits 18 years for her husband in a cold cave.
Two guesses, both wrong
A three-year cloth
She told the suitors: let me finish a burial shroud for my father-in-law, then I'll choose.
She wove by day and secretly unpicked it by torchlight at night. One cloth lasted over three years, until a maid gave her away.
A bed no one could move
In the 20th year, Odysseus came home dressed as an old beggar and, with his son, defeated the suitors. But she didn't run to him. She feared he was an impostor.
She told a maid to move their bed out of the bedroom. He got upset: that bed can't be moved! One post is the trunk of a living olive tree, still rooted in the ground.
Only the two of them and one maid knew this. Then she wept and held him.
A couple's quiet understanding is like this tree: anyone can carry off furniture and replace it, but a rooted tree stays put.
Same on his side
The goddess Calypso kept him for seven years and offered to make him ageless forever.
He said: I know my wife isn't as beautiful as you. But I just want to go home.
Homer never tells us what Penelope felt. We can only look at what she did.
Quick check
What finally convinced Penelope the man was really her husband?
Looks change and anyone can be strong, but only the two of them knew about the rooted tree. No impostor could fake that.
