Snapping at him
while pregnant?

The full narration of the video.

He didn't say anything wrong. So why did you explode? All he asked was what's for dinner, and you flared up. Then you felt bad about it. First, one thing: this isn't you turning into a worse person.

Mood swings in pregnancy are something doctors see all the time. They're common. To make sense of it, picture a pressure cooker. There's a flame underneath, and a steam valve on the lid.

When the flame is low, the valve lets steam out slowly, and the pot stays quiet. Turn the flame up and block the valve, and one tiny bit more heat makes it blow. A pregnant body is that flame, suddenly turned way up.

Let's spend a day with a mom-to-be and watch the heat build. In the morning, she wakes up feeling sick. About seven in ten pregnant women go through morning sickness.

During the day, she feels heavy and sleepy. That's progesterone rising. By late pregnancy, it can be about ten times the usual level. At night she wants to sleep, but turning over is hard, and she keeps getting up to pee.

In late pregnancy, more than four in ten women sleep badly. And poor sleep is exactly what blocks the valve. Your brain has an alarm called the amygdala. Behind your forehead is a brake called the prefrontal cortex.

In one experiment, people stayed up all night, then looked at upsetting pictures. Their alarm reacted over sixty percent more than in people who'd slept. And the brake couldn't hold it back. So by evening, his 'what's for dinner' is just that last tiny bit of heat.

The pot was already full. It wasn't about him. Doctors call this pregnancy mood swings. Hormones, nausea and bad sleep all turn up the flame together. So how do you help him understand? Not while the pot is hissing.

Anything said in the heat of it sounds like a fight. Wait until you're both calm, then tell him three things. First, your body: I've been sick and sleeping badly, so I'm already running hot.

Second, the moment: when I snap, it's the pot being full, not you. Third, give him one thing to do. Think about it first: in that moment, do you want a hug, or some quiet?

Once it's clear, he doesn't have to guess, and he won't get worked up too. He can even help turn the flame down: do more around the house, so you get more sleep. If you've felt flat or tearful every day for two weeks, don't just tough it out.

Tell your prenatal doctor, and follow their advice. Tonight, once you're both calm, try telling him those three things. Then come back and tell us: what was the first thing he said?